June 2012
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My older sister does this thing when she puts on lipstick where she shapes it like she has that lip arch thing (which she doesn’t) and it looks so weird and then when I tell her to stop doing it she yells at me for having one of those lip things and that I’m an ungrateful brat.
ok then.
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im alive
didnt get killed by homeless people, didnt get in trouble with the police
also my back sort of hurts
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the-left-lane-is-for-passing:
But soft, what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the east, and Hawkeye’s badonkadonk is the sun.
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“Well, not all of us are in the same weight class so it is hard to say between...”
– Robert Downey Jr. on who would win a battle among the Avengers
Why does the post about my birth certificate have 200 notes what what what is happening why
I don’t know how to reply on this thing but no tori I can’t go home because I made up a very elaborate story about me needing to sleep over at a friends house tonight so that drinking night can happen
I can’t just show up at home they’d realise I had been lying and for what and then never let me out again
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People cancelled on drinking night
So I am sitting outside of a closed B&N stealing their wifi in my car that I will probably sleep in.
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OKAY I AM GOING TO LEAVE NOW AND GO BOWLING AND EAT ICE CREAM AND THEN LATER PROBABLY DRINK WITH IRL PALS SO IF I HAVE YOUR NUMBER YOU MIGHT GET A DRUNK TEXT MAYBE OR SOMETHING THAT MIGHT BE SOMETHING THAT HAPPENS
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radioactivemongoose:
whenever “john” is typed “jawn” I imagine benedict cumberbatch cringing and pushing a computer away, brushing himself off, then going for a short swim
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I AM GOING TO TALK ABOUT ABIGAIL PETERS
THIS LOVELY FUCKING FACE:
BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT. I AM 100% CERTAIN THAT SHE KNOWS MORE ABOUT ME THAN ANYBODY IN THE PLANET. And the circumstances that brought that about are weird and strange and if certain small things hadn’t happened then I’d be here today without knowing the least thing about her. But they did happen and by some fucking alignment of the cosmos or some shit, Abbie...
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moriartyyy:
robert downey jr’s name is actually robert
like
his friends call him robert
not robert downey jr.
that’s weird.
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dickconquersall asked: But i mustn't lie especially not about nipples
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whoaaitsjess replied to your post: i am 100% sure that my parents
but does your passport say the same thing…?
nope, the small card version of my birth certificate says female too. but the big official paper one says Male. m a l e where is my penisalinglong the government says its official and i want to pee standing up, it’ll be great!
lionversusbear replied to your post: #50 shades of no...
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i am 100% sure that my parents would have carried on not being aware of it
i was reading through the paper when in line to get my passport renewed and sort of freaked out
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my birth certificate says i am a male
this has escaped my parents’s notice for almost 20 years
#50 shades of no way
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all those fanarts with science bros being awesome and chilling and steve in the background petulantly moping about, and i laugh like an idiot but then on the inside i am crying a river of emotions
I NEVER GET POSTCARDS
mishaphilia:
BUT TODAY I COME HOME AND I DID???
STROKE OF MAJESTY
AHHHH YOU GOT IT!!!! I NEED TO MAIL OUT THE REST TO OTHER PEOPLES TOMORROW I swear that postcard was the most postcardy postcard ever, i just had to mail it right then and there :)
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whoaaitsjess:
Follow Friday~~
froghat | mockingbirdsin | jabsguitarman | penandink | capmirez | justanotherprettylie | ticotalks | yellowbearr | modernlovefare
HEY LOOK IT’S ME WOAH and i’m the first one awwww jess you lovely person
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Hey guys I forgot to mention, when I was on my trip I went to Monument Valley where they filmed the John Ford films and this navajo dude selling peace pipes was like “Johnny Depp was here last week filming a movie, some western.”
So like
I missed Johnny Depp filming The Lone Ranger by a week
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mishacollinsthighs replied to your post: ruvy replied to your post:
i don’t know what we’re talking about but it would make it past my dad and you guys should send me some
PSA: everyone mail liz alcohol.
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I think my little sister is attempting to tapdance
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ruvy replied to your post: Everyone on tumblr offering
can one ship alcohol across the country? because I would man.
even if you could, it wouldn’t make it past my mother.
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Everyone on tumblr offering to buy me vodka
why isn’t tumblr real life
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sometimes i search ‘vodka’ in the tumblr tags thinking i will find the perfect photo t o reblog but then i realise the world is stupid and exit in a rage.
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mycroftismight replied to your post:
21!!!?? we only have to be 18 here wow why 21
because the old gods are cruel and capricious fuckers
also america sucks
[[MORE]]i wish i knew people over 21 willing to go and buy me vodka when these feels come
i need vodka
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“I DONT BELIEVE. THAT IS A VERY COMMON. OR EFFECTIVE. WAY. TO MAKE PEOPLE. HAVE AN ORGASM. WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THIS FU- WHAT IS THIS.”
pfaodiohutgir8ufihjoadoiuifytuagfhadglkag
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noelhairs replied to your post: im watching this video
Talk to Ashlee (birdhooves.tumblr.com) She’s read/is reading it.
sOMEHOW i have managed to follow Ashlee on almost everything EXCEPT TUMBLR
how does that even happen????
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im watching this video of some dude reading quotes from that 50 Shades book
and screeching on the floor
because his reactions
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ruvy replied to your post: Didn’t know what Fifty Shades of Grey
would you judge me if I said I read it while it was still fanfiction. I WAS 15 OKAY.
I DON’T EVEN THINK I’VE EVER READ TWILIGHT FANFICTION
AND APPARENTLY A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE READ IT, SO ITS OKAY
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Luka Magnotta
unknownsoulandmind:
Authorities have issued a “Canada-wide arrest warrant” for Rocco Luka Magnotta, a suspect police have connected to a homicide and the mailings of two body parts.
Magnotta, 29, also goes by the pseudonyms Eric Clinton Newman and Vladimir Romanov, according to the Montreal Police Department, and some of these aliases have been linked to porn films.
A human foot was mailed to...
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Didn’t know what Fifty Shades of Grey was
Looked it up on wikipedia:
“The Fifty Shades trilogy was developed from a Twilight fanfiction.”